May 20, 2026
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On The Upside with Marley

Emotional intelligence changes relationships

Most people think relationships succeed or fail based on communication alone. While communication matters, there is something underneath it that shapes nearly every interaction we have with others: emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand not only what you feel, but why you feel it, and how those emotions affect the people around you.

Many conflicts are not caused by bad intentions. They are caused by reactions. Someone feels unheard, criticized, ignored, misunderstood, or overwhelmed, and responds emotionally before understanding what is truly happening. The problem is that reactions often speak louder than intentions.

People with strong emotional intelligence learn to pause before responding. They recognize when frustration is building. They listen more carefully. They become aware of tone, timing, body language, and emotional impact—not just words.

This changes relationships dramatically. People feel safer around emotionally intelligent individuals because they feel understood rather than judged. Difficult conversations become easier because the focus shifts from “winning” to understanding.

Emotional intelligence also strengthens self-respect. You become less controlled by impulse, less reactive to criticism, and more capable of handling conflict calmly. Instead of allowing emotions to steer every interaction, you begin steering yourself.

Like any skill, emotional intelligence improves through awareness and practice. It is not weakness. In many ways, it is one of the strongest forms of maturity a person can develop.

The better you understand emotions—both yours and others’—the stronger, calmer, and healthier your relationships become.


Victoria Day & Canada’s Connection To The Crown

Victoria Day is one of Canada’s oldest public holidays and has been celebrated in some form since the mid-1800s. The holiday originally honoured Queen Victoria, whose birthday was May 24, 1819, and who reigned during Confederation in 1867. Over time, the celebration evolved into a broader recognition of Canada’s constitutional monarchy and its connection to the Crown. :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0}

Queen Victoria was often referred to as the “Mother of Confederation” because Canada became a country during her reign. Even after her death in 1901, Victoria Day continued as a permanent Canadian holiday. Today, it also marks the official birthday of Canada’s monarch, regardless of who occupies the throne. :contentReference[oaicite:1]{index=1}

Canada’s monarchy remains part of the country’s parliamentary system and national identity. Royal symbols continue to appear throughout Canadian life, including on coins, military insignia, courtrooms, government buildings, and official ceremonies.

While many Canadians simply enjoy the long weekend and fireworks, Victoria Day remains deeply tied to Canada’s history, traditions, and constitutional foundations.


The Self Checkout

I was at the self-checkout line Friday after work on a long weekend, trying to get out of the store while all the tourists flooded into town and backed up the regular checkout lines. No matter how many times I tried, this one item just wouldn’t scan. I looked around for help, but there was nobody to be found.

Meanwhile, all the people behind me were getting annoyed and grumbling, so I looked at them and said, “You’d think they’d train these customers properly so they don’t tie up all the machines on a long weekend…”

And that’s how Canadians do this.


The Password

Me : What’s the wifi password?
Bartender : you need to buy a drink first.

Me : Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Bartender : Is Pepsi ok?

Me : Sure, How much is that?
Bartender : 3$

Me : There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Bartender : you need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.


Can’t Catch A Break

A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, “Congratulations! You’re the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you’re entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?”

“Well”, replied the man, “I think I’m gonna get a driver’s license.”

“Oh, Ignore him.”, his wife said, “He always speaks nonsense when he’s drunk.”

“I KNEW IT!”, his father bellowed from the backseat, “I KNEW WE WON’T GET FAR IN A STOLEN CAR.”

Then came the voice from the trunk, “Are we over the border yet?”


The Dry Humour Room

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.



Editors Quote Book

“The highest form of knowledge is empathy.”

—Bill Bullard


Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

1. Which Queen is Victoria Day named after in Canada?
Victoria Day is named after Queen Victoria, who reigned during Canadian Confederation.

2. What year did Queen Victoria become Queen of Britain?
Queen Victoria became monarch in 1837 at the age of eighteen years old.

3. What is the official residence of Canada’s monarch while visiting Ottawa?
Rideau Hall serves as the monarch’s official residence while staying in Ottawa.

4. What symbol commonly represents the Canadian Crown on military badges?
A royal crown symbol commonly appears on Canadian military insignia and official badges.

5. What battle in 1917 became a defining Canadian victory in WWI?
The Battle of Vimy Ridge became one of Canada’s most important wartime victories.

6. Which beach did Canadian troops land on during D-Day in 1944?
Canadian forces landed on Juno Beach during the Normandy invasion on D-Day.

7. What was the nickname for Canada’s women’s naval service in WWII?
Members of Canada’s naval women’s service were commonly called the Wrens.

8. Which Canadian city was central to Atlantic convoys during WWII?
Halifax served as a major convoy and naval center during the Second World War.

9. What is the name of Canada’s national anthem?
Canada’s national anthem is officially titled “O Canada.”

10. What colour is traditionally associated with Victoria Day fireworks packaging?
Red is commonly featured on Victoria Day fireworks packaging and patriotic displays.

 


Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19: Better communication improves relationships. Listen carefully and allow patience to guide difficult conversations this week.

Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20: Emotional awareness creates balance. Small adjustments in attitude improve interactions more than expected right now.

Gemini May 21 – Jun. 20: Clear communication reduces tension. Thoughtful responses help strengthen trust and understanding with those around you.

Cancer Jun. 21 – Jul. 22: Emotional clarity improves connection. Take time to understand reactions before responding too quickly this week.

Leo Jul. 23 – Aug. 22: Confidence works best with empathy. Understanding another perspective improves both trust and communication now.

Virgo Aug. 23 – Sep. 22: Patience creates stronger outcomes. Careful listening helps avoid misunderstandings and improves important relationships this week.

Libra Sep. 23 – Oct. 22: Balance improves through understanding. Calm communication helps strengthen personal and professional relationships this week.

Scorpio Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: Emotional control supports progress. Respond thoughtfully and avoid reacting too quickly during stressful situations now.

Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21: Honest conversations create clarity. Listening carefully helps improve trust and reduce unnecessary conflict this week.

Capricorn Dec. 22 – Jan. 19: Consistency strengthens relationships. Reliable actions and thoughtful communication improve confidence between you and others.

Aquarius Jan. 20 – Feb. 18: New perspectives improve understanding. Emotional awareness helps strengthen communication and deepen important connections now.

Pisces Feb. 19 – Mar. 20: Reflection creates emotional clarity. Understanding feelings carefully helps improve relationships and personal confidence this week.



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To The Principal’s Office

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”


The Good Bear

A man was hiking deep in the forest when he suddenly realized a massive bear was charging at him. The man turned and ran as fast as he could, but he quickly realized he couldn’t outrun a bear.
Knowing the end was near, the man fell to his knees in the dirt and began to pray out loud, “Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, please let this be a bear of God.”
The bear caught up to the man, pinned him down on the ground, and knocked him flat on his back. The huge bear then got to its knees, folded its paws together, closed its eyes, and said, “Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive…”

Speaking Of Hockey

The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.
So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

*  *  *  *  *

What do you call a hockey player in a leaky barn?
Grain Wetzsky

*  *  *  *  *

My boss offered me a promotion. He was going to send me to our flagship location in Detroit.
Me: “No way I’m going to Detroit. There’s nothing but prostitutes and hockey players up there.”
My boss: “I beg your pardon — my wife is from Detroit.”
“Really?” I replied. “What team did she play for?”

*  *  *  *  *

An angel asked God what He was doing.
“I’m making Canadians,” said God.
“Aww, they’re so nice,” said the angel.
“Oh yeah?” said God. “Watch this.”
Then He dropped a puck.


Strange News Indeed

“The most Canadian car thief ever returns stolen vehicle with full tank of gas”

A woman in Nova Scotia got the shock of her life after finishing her shopping trip and discovering her car had disappeared from the parking lot. At first, it looked like a straight-up car theft — until the mystery took a very Canadian turn.

Another driver, parked beside her in an almost identical vehicle, had accidentally climbed into the wrong car and somehow managed to drive away with it. (Exactly how the key fob worked is still anybody’s guess.)

Once the confused motorist realized what had happened, he tracked the woman down and returned the vehicle… with a full tank of gas as an apology.

And in true Canadian, Maritime fashion, she insisted on paying him back for the fuel.


Old Muskoka Memories

Camp Calydor, also known as Camp 20, was a prisoner-of-war camp located in Gravenhurst during the Second World War. The camp housed German officers captured during the war and became known for its relatively humane treatment of prisoners. Many POWs worked on local projects around town, including building stone steps and a lighthouse still visible today at Gull Lake Park. Over time, Camp Calydor became an unusual part of Muskoka history, remembered for both dramatic escape attempts and the surprisingly respectful relationships that developed between some prisoners and local residents.


The Last Word

“Strong relationships are built less on perfection and more on understanding.”


13 Comments

  1. YKW McKenna says:

    And our heartfelt thanx to you, Brian Garvey for coming up with the PERK idea 30 years ago. I and many others have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the publication for hopefully years to come.
    I commend you!

  2. Dave says:

    WELL DONE !
    The May 1st edition was the best I’ve read since becoming a follower. Positively Speaking……logical and smack on, the quiz, difficult but for the first time ever I’m 8 for 8! The bog island vid…who’d a thunk?
    I can’t be all positive though.
    The sand which board with I b4 e was a tough one for my aging eyes.
    Lastly, could your font be slightly larger with the adds just a wee bit smaller.
    So many magazines, internet articles, etc have yet to learn that their main audience is aging and eyes are not what they were of days past.
    Keep up the good work.
    PS: Adds work. I’ve used more than one company you’ve listed with total satisfaction (politicians excepted)

    • MGraphics says:

      Hi Dave. Firstly thanks so much for the comments. I’m not the writer of this stuff just the web guy. While reading anything that you find is too small on the internet generally all you need to do is hit your Control and the plus key or minus key together to increase or decrease the size of things. I’m afraid if we reduce the ads any smaller they won’t be readable and of course it’s due to their investment in the Perkolator that the publication can actually exist 🙂 Happy Spring.

    • Nina Davies says:

      why do l keep getting the same perkolator every month for the S Muskoka edition. this is the same issue running from Jan.2026.

      • Hi Nina

        The Perkolator doesn’t actually publish monthly, it publishes weekly. I cannot see what you’re seeing of course. However I have reviewed the website thoroughly and including the last 5 weeks Perkolator’s and there’s no duplication. The only thing I can determine is if you’re clicking on an old email from last month and expecting last months perkolator. Clicking on the link in your subscription email will always take you to the latest edition regardless of how old the email is. Perhaps that’s where the issue lies.

        Thanks for reading!

  3. Howard Brooks says:

    Today’s edition is the same as last weeks.

  4. Clara says:

    Please don’t change anything, I look forward to my weekly paper

  5. YKW McKenna says:

    Why, when I’m already a subscriber must the pop up SUBSCRIBE for double your pleasure pop up in the first place? Oh, I just realized, you can’t have pop ups in your printed newsletter.
    Silly me.

  6. Jessica Thibodeau says:

    Lately your articles seem to be very anti-woman. I’m most certainly going to stop reading!

    • Brian Garvey says:

      Good day Jessica. I do hope that you are still reading The Perkolator. Although you don’t say which articles you found objectionable, I can assure you that we, at The Perkolator, are not anti-women. In fact, if we look back to past issues men are the Butt of more jokes and stories than are women. In our world we need to find the humour in our words, habits, situations, and actions more often, whether we are male of female. The ability to laugh at ourselves and our humanness allows us to cope better with the stresses in life. I hope that you will consider continuing to read The Perkolator, understanding that we are only joking and mean no offense.
      Best Regards.
      Brian G

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