December 25, 2024


Brian, Ludwig, Jenny, Sandy, Pam, Steve, Mimi, Mark



We invite you to submit your favourite joke, quiz or interesting trivia for possible inclusion in future editions of The Perkolator. Send To: bg@theperkolator.ca


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Editors Quote Book

“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man try to wrap a Christmas gift.”

— Unknown


What A Girl Wants (For Christmas)

A Santa Claus at the shopping mall was amazed when a lady, Emily, aged about 20, walked up and sat on his lap. We all know that Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ ‘Something for my mother, please,’ replied Emily sweetly. ‘Something for your mother? Well, that’s very loving and thoughtful of you,’ smiled Santa. ‘What would you like me to bring her?’ Without turning a hair, Emily answered quickly, ‘A son-in-law.’


A Marital Misunderstanding

A mother anxiously awaiting her daughter Janet’s plane to land. Janet had just come back from abroad, trying to find adventure for a year. As Janet was exiting the plane, Mom noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. Janet introduced this man as her new husband. Mom gasped out loud and screamed, ‘I said for you to marry a Doctor.…… a rich doctor!’


Little Workers

The teacher was giving her seven-year-old class a natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?”


The Most Popular Christmas Song — Ever

We hear many songs every Christmas, but this song captures the emotional appeal of our vision of Christmas. What is your favourite?

“White Christmas” by Bing Crosby

A classic! Written by Irving Berlin in 1942, “White Christmas” is one of the best Christmas songs ever. Bing Crosby popularized the song on his radio show on Christmas Day. It was also featured in the 1942 movie,  “Holiday Inn”. The song became the best-selling single of all time. It has sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. It was the title song for the 1954 movie “White Christmas,” one of my favourite Christmas movies.

To view song being performed click video below.


Christmas Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

1. Which popular Christmas beverage is also called 'milk punch'?
Eggnog.
2. How many ghosts appear in the story A Christmas Carol?
Four.
3. In the song; What kind of Christmas does Elvis have?
A Blue Christmas.
4. In 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas,' What 3 words describe the Grinch?
Stink, Stank, Stunk.
5. What country started the tradition of Christmas trees?
Germany.
6. Which fairy tale were the first gingerbread houses inspired by?
Hansel and Gretel.
7. How do you say 'Merry Christmas' in Spanish?
Feliz Navidad.
8. What popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?
Jingle Bells.

 


Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar. 21-Apr. 19:   Your actions draw some criticism. Instead of defending yourself, try reviewing your behaviour. Determine if you could have done better.

Taurus Apr. 20- May 20:   Gather your team and get on the same page. When you present your idea, it will be unified.

Gemini May 21-June 20:  Before spending at the Boxing Day sales, ensure the bills are paid. Only spend what you can afford.

Cancer June 21- July 22:  Now that you have taken care of the needs of a loved one, take care of yourself and enjoy the festivities.

Leo July 23-Aug. 22:  It’s time to determine what is most important to you. Is it what others think, or is it what you actually know?

Virgo Aug. 23-Sept. 22:  Relax and enjoy some time with family and old friends. Catch up on the news and relive old memories of good times.

Libra Sept. 23-Oct 22:  Laughter is the best medicine. Shake off those blues and get together with others; those smiles will soon turn to laughter.

Scorpio Oct.23-Nov.21:  Your current project is coming to an end. Wrap it up now, then move ahead with a new venture in 2025.

Sagittarius Nov.22- Dec.21:  The year ends with a bang for you. A new romantic interest could spark some extra excitement. Hold on tight.

Capricorn Dec.22-Jan.19:  Your partner’s choice may not be your choice. Don’t take issue with it. Sit back and enjoy.

Aquarius Jan.20-Feb.18:  Your family does appreciate all the effort you put in to make the holidays fun. Take pride in what you do.

Pisces Feb. 19-Mar.20:  Family can be trying at times. But remember that they love you, and you love them. Be thankful for them.



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The Spirit Of Christmas

In the past, Canadian airline West Jet delivered holiday cheer for 250 passengers on a flight to Calgary. The airline placed a digital Santa Claus at an airport and asked passengers what they wanted for Christmas. While everyone was in the air, 175 West Jet workers sprinted to nearby stores. They bought everything passengers asked the ‘West Jet Santa’ for, from pairs of socks and underwear to big-screen TVs. Everyone was met with their dream gift when the passengers arrived at the Calgary airport baggage claim. This wasn’t West Jet’s first time to whip out the holiday cheer. In a prior year, a flash mob of 150 volunteers performed a merry dance in the waiting area for a red-eye flight, complete with Santa on the tarmac and stockings stuffed with new I Pods. There has yet to be any word about any plans for this year.


A Christmas Movie Suggestion

Home Alone: Starring Macaulay Culkin

John Hughes hit all the right notes in this Christmas movie that dramatizes every parent’s worst nightmare and every kid’s best fantasy. Macaulay Culkin beat out hundreds of other child actors to score the iconic role. The 1990 comedy was a powerhouse at the box office, spawning a franchise based on the premise of a kid on his own. Culkin’s charm steals the show as he fights off bungling burglars while Mom and Dad freak out from afar. This is one of the epic feel-good holiday movies people enjoy year after year.


Interesting Facts About Penguins

Have you ever wondered why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?…….. Wonder no more!!! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird that lives an ordered and complicated life. The penguin is committed to its family, will mate for life, and maintains compassionate contact with its offspring. When a penguin is found dead on the ice surface,  family members and social circles have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

“Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow.”
You didn’t believe I knew anything about penguins, did you?


In His Own Defence

The judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones, do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” “I do.” “What do you say to defend  yourself?” “Your Honor, under those limitations, nothing.”


Christmas Cards

I wanted to get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.” He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. “They’re last year’s,” he said. “I forgot to mail them. Now let’s go out to dinner.”


The Last Word

Consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively
what no one will say individually


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