Wk. of Feb.27, 2017

Positively Speaking

Pass It On!

We have all had them, you’ve had them, I’ve had dozens of them. In fact the longer we live the more we will have. What am I talking about? Well it’s something we like to forget about, put it behind us and move forward. But as soon as we think it’s all behind us “BANG” we get hit with another one. I’m talking about “Bad Days”, one of those days when thing’s just go wrong, when you feel down right miserable? The kind of day you wish someone would just say something nice to you, something that makes you feel good?

Well, other people have those days too!

We very often forget this fact when we are having a good day. When we come across someone having a bad day, we tend to blame them and put them down as being “miserable”, grumpy”, “bad tempered” or just plain “mean” we shrug them off and go on our way. If, however, we stopped and remembered how we felt on our “bad day”, how we wished for a positive encouraging word from someone. We might just reserve our judgement of that person and offer them the thing that they need most at that point in time, an uplifting word of encouragement. Passing on our good feeling to them, sharing with them some positive words, it could make all the difference in the world to them.

Remember how YOU felt on your “bad day”?

There are many sayings that we all know to cover such situations, though we conveniently forget them if it suits us: “What goes around, comes around,” “We reap what we sow,” “Do unto others…”

If only we would take the time to help others on their bad days, the chances are there will be someone to help us when we have ours.

Go ahead…pass it on! Make Someone’s Day!

Editors Quote Book

‘A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing’.

How Small Is Small?

One of the twenty first century sciences is the study of nano-technology, the investgation of all things minute. One of the branches of this science is nanoparticles, the study of particles so small we cannot even imagine them, nevermind see them. The University of Waterloo’s Frank Gu, in an interview with the Toronto Star, explained it this way; “ Take a Timbit and start slicing it into smaller and smaller pieces, so small that every Canadian ….  about 35 million of us, can hold a piece of the treat  …. And even those tiny pieces are still a little bigger than a nanoparticle.”

Drunk and Disorderly

A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband, crashing through the front door at 3 am woke her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, ” What are you doing?” she shouted. The husband replied ” I am trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs”.  “Leave it down there” she bellowed “I cant”, he responded, “I’ve drunk it”.

Golf Lesson

Grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on the seventh hole and there is a tree in the way and grandpa says, “When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree.” So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started. “Of course,” added grandpa, “when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall.”

Financial Advice!

A ninety year old tycoon is meeting with his financial adviser. The adviser is very excited and tells the old man.  I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years!  Five years? Are you kidding? exclaims the old man. At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.

Trivia Quiz

Horoscope

Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19:  A surprise visitor will provide some emotional rewards. Splurge a bit, open up the purse strings, just a little, ENJOY!

Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20:   You need to apply your management skills if you are to complete a project on time.  You can do it.

Gemini May 21 – June 20:    If you feel like you are being taken for granted talk things over with your partner. Lay out your priorities.

Cancer June 21 – July 22:   Beware of selfish interests, love may be blind but you are not. Don’t make the same mistakes again.

Leo July 23 – Aug 22:    Avoid making commitments to something that sounds too good to be true. Caution is called for, check things out.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22:      It’s good not to be too judgemental. You could find yourself in the wrong and being judged by others.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22:  Some relief is in sight for your financial restraints. Possibly a promotion or a new job with more money.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21:   Time for a health check up. Get ready for a great summer filled with new experiences. A love interest appears.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21:    Listen to all the sides of a disagreement and don’t make any rash decisions. Seek to make a compromise.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19:   Good things cannot be rushed .. and love is one of them, it takes time to mature. You must be patient.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18:   You will need to be more accommodating to someone whose help you need be an asset not a burden.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20:   Information comes your way that will be useful to you at a later date. Till then keep it to yourself.

Bar Snacks

A man wants into a bar and asks for a pint of lager and a packet of helicopter chips.
‘Sorry’, said the barman, ‘we don’t have any helicopter chips, we only have plane.’

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A man went into a bar after work and ordered a beer. As he started drinking his beer, he heard a female voise saying seductively, ‘You’ve got nice hair’. The man looked all around him but couldn’t see where the voice came from. A minute later he heard the same voice saying, ‘You are a handsome man.’ The man was really puzzled by this so he asked the barman what was going on. The barman replied, ‘It’s the peanuts – they’re complimentary.’

Deductive Reasoning

A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. “Who died?” he asked a nearby local. “I’m not sure,” replied the local, ” but I think it’s the one in the coffin.”

Who Put The Punch In Punchline?

The end of a joke is called the punchline. It’s a phrase that’s been around since the 1920s, before TV had been invented and people loved watching vaudeville shows that were full of pranks and wisecracks. The jokes in these shows were often performed by two people – a funny man and a straight man. The funny man always played the pranks on the straight man, who kept a straight, serious face, no matter what was happening. At the end of each gag, the funnyman would pretend to punch the straight man, and that’s where the term “punchline” came from.                         

Alice And Harold

Alice bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”  Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.” “Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed. “Hey, wait a minute!” Harold interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”

The Last Word

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done