April 17, 2024

---

BG’s Positively Speaking

A New Broom…..!

There’s an old saying: “A new broom sweeps clean.” But only some people think of applying it to themselves. They don’t see the need to grab any old or new broom and sweep the dust and cobwebs out of their dusty old environment, including those that cloud their minds.

We must dust off our images of who and what we are, where we are, what we want and how to get it. If any images are still clouded, take that broom and clean out the rest of the cobwebs and dust. We need a clear image of the total picture. How can we move forward into a new life if we are covered in the dust and dirt of the old one? Whatever we want to achieve, as long as it is legal, ethical and moral –  personal growth, relationships, family, business, job, or any other aspect of life, we need to use a NEW broom.

“I’ll just use this old broom,” you may be saying. NO! The old broom’s bristles are shortened, missing, and splayed; it cannot do the job. We must clean out OLD ways of thinking, ideas, and images. For that, we need a new broom for NEW ideas, thoughts, and images.

With a clear image, we can ask ourselves some questions:

WHERE  AM I  NOW? We should look at our current environment and take a realistic view of things as they are.

WHERE DO I WANT TO GO? What is it that I want to achieve?

HOW WILL I REACH MY GOAL? “Doing what I Have always done will get me what I have always got.”

WHO AND WHAT AM I? Do I need to change to achieve what I want?

Now, We can say….”We Are Making A Clean Start”

---

Easter Dinner

A man went to get a turkey for Easter from a poultry farm. “Do you have any turkeys going cheap?” he asked.”Nope”, said the owner. “All our turkey go gobble, gobble.”

---

Getting Nervous

Patient 1: ‘Why did you run away from the operating table?’

Patient 2: “The nurse repeatedly said, ‘Don’t get nervous’, ‘Don’t be afraid’, ‘Be strong’, ‘This is just a small operation,’ and things like that.”

Patient 1: ‘So what was wrong with that? Why were you so afraid?’

Patient 2: ‘She was talking to the surgeon!’

---

---

To Copy Or Not To Copy?

Teacher: “Clyde, your composition about “My dog” is exactly like your brothers. Did you copy it from him?” Clyde: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

---

Editors Quote Book

“Alone, you are strong, but together, you’ll be stronger than ever.”

— Unknown.

---

Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

 

---

Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

ARIES (March 21- April 19): Sharing your wisdom with a supervisor could open you up to criticism. Your input is, however, important.

TAURUS (April 20- May 20): A younger person demands more attention. Give all that is required of you. Your mentoring will be appreciated.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Love presents itself differently. A new relationship becomes more intense, so be prepared for it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):  Speak the truth to a loved one. It may hurt at first, but you will become much stronger.

LEO (July 23- August 22): A volatile situation stabilizes. Don’t add fuel to the fire, but keep an eye on the burning embers.

VIRGO (August 23- September 22): It is time to make a critical decision. Seek advice, but remember that you are responsible for the final outcome.

LIBRA (September 23- October 22): You have much information to sift through. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Take your time.

SCORPIO (October 23- November 21): If you are feeling inadequate, don’t despair. Dig deep. You have a lot to offer. Look to your strengths.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22- December 21): Reach out to help others in need. You will feel a deep sense of gratification from your efforts.

CAPRICORN (December 22- January 19): To reach your goal of financial independence, you will need to make some changes. Seek advice.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Pessimistic thoughts breed negativity. Keep an open mind and think more positively. You’ll find life more rewarding.

PISCES (February 19- March 20): A minor flirtation could lead to more than you bargained for. Don’t play the game if you can’t pay the price.

---

---

Spring Surprise!

In late fall, a couple received a hundred Tulips from a friend in Holland. The wife kept asking her husband to plant them. Finally, she planted them herself. Naturally, the husband was pleased, at least until the spring, when the flowers came up, and he discovered his wife had planted them to spell out, in glorious colour, “John Is Lazy.”

---

---

Male Logic

— A man enthusiastic about his driving skills was on a trip with his wife. After travelling some distance, the wife consulted the map and announced, “We are lost.” The man responded, “So what! we are making great time.”

— A man surprised his wife by buying tickets for a series of dances at the local Legion Hall. “Why on earth did you buy them,” demanded his wife, “You know you will never go to them.” “I know,” he said, “But it’s more fun to stay home from something than to just stay home.”

---

Passenger In A Taxi

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. Everything was silent in the cab for a moment, and then the still-shaking driver said, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, “No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”

---

The End Is Near!

A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” and showed it to each passing car. One driver who drove by didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted at them, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!”

Suddenly, they heard a big splash and looked at each other. The priest said to the pastor, “You think maybe we should have just said ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

---

The Last Word

As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

---