January 26, 2022

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BG’s Positively Speaking

Who Said You Were Too Old?

I have lost count of the number of times I have heard, “I’m just too old to do something different,” OR, “If I was ten years younger” OR, “I shoulda’ done that sooner, I’m past it now.”   Similar responses are usually excuses for a reluctance to get out of one’s comfort zone. possibly you’ve even caught yourself saying these things; if so, let me ask you……

“What’s age got to do with it?”

Age is more a “Frame of mind” than a time of life. Sure, you may not have the same energy level, and you have to take things a little slower. You may even have some physical barriers, and it’s a safe bet that some people in your circle will tell you to “act your age” and leave it to the young folk. But you have many advantages over a more youthful person. First, you have experience combined with a lower energy level. That means you are less prone to costly errors. Put that together with your knowledge and wisdom, and you have a winning combination. All you need now is a dream and a positive attitude.

Here are a few who came to the party late in life:-

• Peter Roget was 73 when he published Roget’s Thesaurus.
• Grandma Moses was 70 when she held her first solo exhibit.
• Frank McCourt was 66 when his first novel “Angela’s Ashes, was published.
• Gandhi was 73 when he led the “Quit India” campaign that led to India’s independence.
• Joe Biden was 79 when he became President of the USA.

Don’t let anyone, including yourself, fool you into believing you are too old…………

… To become All That You Can Be!

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Long Speech

A man, giving a long-winded speech, finally says, “I’m sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home.”  A voice from the crowd says, “There’s a calendar behind you.”

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Marriage Problems?

A man and woman were having marriage problems and decided to end their union after only a short time together. After a brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to this point where you are not able to keep this marriage together?” The husband said, “In our six weeks together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.” His wife chipped in, “It’s been seven weeks.”

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Guess Who?

(Hover Over Image For Answer)

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Editor’s Quote Book

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

— Winston Churchill

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Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

 

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Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

ARIES Mar. 21-Apr. 19:  The past may come back to haunt you. Just remember that the past is past. Focus on the future.

TAURUS Apr. 20-May 20: There’s someone out there that understands your needs. Take a leap of faith and confide in them.

GEMINI May 21-June 20: Paying attention to detail could be critical to your health. Don’t be blindsided; the devil is in the details.

CANCER June 21-July 22: Open the doors of communication with your partner. If you hide your feelings, you may come to regret it.

LEO July 23-Aug 22: Delay making any significant decisions. Focus on what needs doing now. You’ll discover new solutions to old problems.

VIRGO Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Get a dose of reality. Looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses discolours your outlook and attitude.

LIBRA Sept. 23-Oct. 22: You are feeling creative. Put that creativity to work for you. It will prove to be a great asset.

SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov.21: It would be wise to pass on an invitation to dine out. There is something else awaiting you.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Intuition serves you well in business. Use it in your personal life, and you’ll be right on the money.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19: It’s time for you to face the responsibilities that have been thrust on you. It’s all about growing up.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Have a little fun at your own expense. Be a little wild and crazy. It feels good to let go and have fun.

PISCES Feb. 19-Mar. 20: Bickering and whining to get what you want will not work. Stay in control, use common sense and reasoning.

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The Language Barrier

An Italian businessman goes to Indonesia for a business trip. He hates Indonesian food, so he asked the concierge in his hotel, “Is there any restaurant where I can find Italian food here?” The concierge says, “You’re lucky, sir, a new pizza restaurant just opened, and they deliver.” The businessman asks for the restaurant’s number, goes back to his room, and orders the pizza.30 minutes later, the delivery person shows up with the pizza. He takes the pizza and eats it. Suddenly he’s sneezing uncontrollably and shouting to the delivery person, “What did you put on this pizza?!”The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on exactly what you ordered on the phone, sir. It’s pepper only.”

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The Punch

Two friends are walking down the street thinking of something to do. One friend turns to the other and says, “Let’s go get a drink; there’s this new place that does THE best punch you’ll ever drink.”So they make their way to the bar and walk straight up to the bartender “Bartender, two glasses of your best punch, please.”The bartender replies in a stern voice, “If you want some punch, you’re gonna have to get in line like everybody else.”The friends turn and look around, but there’s no punch line…

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From Letters To British Landlords

1. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
2. My lavatory seat is cracked; where do I stand?
3. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall
4. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and now she is pregnant
5. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
6. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy
7. The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bath the children until it is clear
8. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
9. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

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The Last Word

A pessimist is someone who has listened to too many optimists.

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